Dragon Tears
by CarpeNoctem17
Summary: Harry/Draco angst. Draco has died, and Harry is looking at a photo of them together...
1. Pictures

Dragon Tears  
  
Disclamer: Only the plot is mine. The characters belong to the goddess J.K. Rowling, not to me. Please do not sue me.  
  
His eyes were the most beautiful thing about him. His gaze could cut straight through you like a knife. The tears that cascaded so beautifully down his pale face, tearing your insides apart and your heart in two. The happiness that was so evident when he smiled. The way his eyes would light up when he laughed. But mostly, the love and undying devotion that clearly shown through those silver eyes when he was with Harry. It seemed as though Harry was the only person in the silver-eyed man's world.  
  
Harry sighed deeply and delicately placed the picture frame back on his dresser. Tears slowly welled up in his green eyes and he started to shake. Hermione happened to glance into Harry's room and seeing him like that, she briskly walked over to him. Wrapping him in a tight embrace, Hermione gently rubbed his back as Harry collapsed. Physically and emotionally.  
  
"I know sweetie, I know," she whispered comfortingly.  
  
"Why Draco?! Why did it have to be him and not me, why-" Harry couldn't even finish his sentence, hot tears poured down his face like a waterfall. Hermione tightened the embrace as she felt herself choke up.  
  
"I....I miss him so much." Harry finally forced out several minutes later, after pulling away from the hug to look into Hermione's deep, brown eyes.  
  
"I know you do sweetie," she spoke.  
  
"I really loved him Mione, more than you know," he said quietly, his voice full of pain.  
  
"And he loved you too, more than anything else in the world. Remember Harry, he'll never truly been gone, he'll always be right here," her fingers danced on his chest, near his heart.  
  
Harry could only nod with a pained look in his eyes. Those green eyes that only a week ago were gazing into Draco's silver ones. Harry glanced down at the picture again. It was a picture taken two weeks ago, of himself and Draco, grinning like idiots, drinking some butter beer at Hogsmeade. Harry felt tears threaten to fall again, but he bit them back, for Draco, his silver dragon.  
  
~Keep your pictures, they never change, only the people in them do~ 


	2. Morning Music

Harry sighed and slammed his fingers down on the piano in exasperation, creating a loud clamor of notes. He'd been attempting to compose the last verse of the song he was going to sing at the funeral, which was a good 15 hours away. A very disgruntled Ronald Weasley stumbled out of the guestroom in which he was slumbering in to find out who or what in bloody hell was making that racket. Unfortunately, Ron wasn't quite awake yet and he slammed into a closed door, which he had thought was a hallway.  
  
"Shit! God Dammit!" Ron's sleep deprived voice rang out. In response to their door being met with Ron's body, Ginny threw a shoe, that happened to be nearby, at the door whilst mumbling to Hermione to go back to sleep. Grumbling to himself, Ron continued down the hallway and successfully managed to make it to the piano room, where Harry was now cursing at the piano and sending deathly looks at it. Ron was not a happy camper.  
  
"HARRY! Have you any bloody idea what time it is?! Two in the bloody mornin' Harry, two in the bloody morning!" Ron half yelled at his friend. In response, Harry just nodded at his friend and rose from the bench, still glaring at the piano.  
  
"The damned thing is cursed Ron, I swear it, it's cursed so that I..." Harry's rambling was cut off by the screaming voice that was heard echoing down the hall.  
  
"RONALD! RONALD! WHERE ARE YE RONALD?! I KNOW IT! THE BLOODY DEMONS TOOK YE! THEY TOOK YE, THEY TOOK M' RON! RON! BLOODY DEMONS TOOK M' RON!" came the slurred voice of a drunken Pansy bellowing down the hall.  
  
That did it. Three angry, exhausted, and completely pissed off couples flung open their doors and emerged from their rooms, in full slumber attire. Sirius and Remus came out first; the lycanthropist had quite a menacing look on his face, despite the fuzzy, pink bathrobe, which he was currently donning. Sirius looked as though he was going to skin and eat whomever had just disrupted him and Remus.  
  
Next came out Ginny and Hermione. Hermione was holding back a blood thirsty Ginny. It was rather clear that Hermione was the calmer of the couple.  
  
Finally, Crabbe and Goyle came grumpily out of their room. Neither of them looked too dangerous, but both a wee bit annoyed that their pleasant reveries were disrupted. All of the couples stalked to the room at the far end of the hall. Sirius, unfortunately for Pansy, was the first one to get inside.  
  
"IT'S TWO O'FUCKING CLOCK IN THE MORNING! EVERYONE IN THIS HOUSE IS TRYING TO SLEEP! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DO..."Sirius' roaring voice was met by a pitiful wail from Pansy.  
  
"I'm sssso sorry Mr. Black, but them, them, them demons, they've took m' Ron, they've took m' Ron, m'Ro...RON!" Pansy jumped up from her bed and drunkenly stumbled past everyone who was gathered around her bed, knocking into Ginny on the way. She then proceeded to pull Ron into a death-tight embrace. Ron sheepishly hugged Pansy whilst rolling his eyes at his drunken girlfriend. Suddenly Pansy dashed out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom and promptly began to vomit.  
  
"God damn that woman, I swear. I'm sorry about all this everyone, please don't pay her any mind-she's drunk off her ass." Ron tried to apologize for his girlfriend.  
  
"I don't know what you see in her Ron, really I don't" Sirius spat out.  
  
"He loves her Siri, that's enough for me." came the now fully calmed voice of Remus Lupin. "Back to bed, love, back to bed" Remus smiled gently at Ron as he ushered his protesting husband back to the master bedroom.  
  
"Harry, go to bed now. Please. Save the music for later, you have a long day ahead of you and you need your rest. Please Har." yawned Ron.  
  
"I'm going to hit the sack myself in a few, I'm going to take care of her" he jerked his thumb down the hall, "then get to bed. Night Har." Ron said and shuffled down the hall to tend to his girlfriend. The remaining couples nodded at Harry and slowly walked back to their rooms. Being left alone and indeed rather tired, Harry decided to take his best friend's advice and turn in. He walked painfully slow down the hallway, almost fearing closing his eyes. Ron's soothing voice was heard slightly echoing down the hall for a few minutes until Pansy passed out again.  
  
Harry lied down on the bed and closed his eyes, already knowing what would be lurking behind his eyelids. The same scene would replay repeatedly in his mind; it seemed as though it was destined to haunt Harry for the remainder of his days.  
  
The accident. 


	3. The Wake

I do not really feel like writing a disclaimer it's ridiculous. Every one of you knows that I don't own the characters in this story I only own the plot. Eh, that's your disclaimer-if you will. Anyway, without further ado- the continuation of my story.  
  
"But Ron- how can we tell him?! If he isn't upset enough now that would just do him in, I can't do it to him. And I won't! It's dangerous to tell him." Hermione spoke the final sentence in a whisper.  
  
"Hermione! How can we NOT tell him? He deserves to know more than anything, he will be able to deal with it." Ron argued back.  
  
"He can't handle it now."  
  
"Yes he can. He'll be completely pissed off if we tell him later."  
  
"Do we even have to tell him at all?" Hermione pleaded.  
  
Ron just cocked his eyebrow and gave her a look that said; 'You should know the answer to that already.' Hermione sighed, accepting her defeat. She was far too tired to argue this any further with him.  
  
"Alright, I give up. But I'll tell you one thing Ronald Weasley; I am most definitely not going to be the person to break it to him. It has to come from you, you're his best friend. And....and we'll both have to be there to pick up the pieces. When are you going to tell him?" Hermione asked him.  
  
"After the wake. He has enough on his plate already right now, I don't need to add to it. He's so stressed with that damn song. I'll tell him when we come back here....Merlin Hermione. How....how do I tell him?" Ron sighed.  
  
"I don't know Ron. Do you....have it?" she asked.  
  
"Of course. I should give it to him, shouldn't I? Dammit, why does this have to be so hard?" Ron spoke.  
  
"Can you handle this Ron?" she asked, concerned.  
  
"I have no choice." He replied.  
  
"Herm, I'm going to go check on him. I'll catch up with you later." Ron pecked her on the cheek and left the room. He walked slowly down the hall and stopped outside the room Harry was staying in. He knocked gently on the door, waiting for a response from the other side of the door.  
  
"Come in." cracked Harry's voice.  
  
Ron readied himself for any and every condition his friend could possible be in and opened the door. He glanced around the room and stepped inside, closing the door quietly behind himself. The room was an absolute mess. Papers were in every possible crevice, the product of Harry's late night inspiration. Harry's body looked as though he had a pleasant slumber, but his eyes told a different story.  
  
"You didn't sleep at all, did you?" Ron questioned gently.  
  
A sigh was the only response that he got. Ron shifted uncomfortably on his feet, clearly uncertain of what to say.  
  
"I wrote it." Harry whispered.  
  
"The song for the wake?" Ron asked.  
  
Harry nodded. "It took me all night, but I did it. I'm actually...happy with it." Harry said whilst pulling on a shirt.  
  
"Well, I'm glad you're happy with it. Hey Harry?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"I know."  
  
Ron walked over to Harry and awkwardly wrapped his arms the other man's waist. Harry rested his hands lightly on Ron's hips.  
  
"Thank you for being here with me Ron. You guys are the reason why I'm here today, why I didn't...." Harry left the remainder of his thought unspoken. He didn't feel the need to finish it, Ron already knew. Harry rested his head on Ron's shoulder and closed his eyes. They stayed like this for a long time, friend and friend. At some point Ron pulled Harry closer to him, placed his head on top of Harry's and tightened his grasp on him. At the same time, the two broke the embrace. It was clear that they had shared a moment, a moment neither of them was likely to ever forget.  
  
Harry finished getting dressed and put on his shoes. Ron decided to sit on the bed and stay with Harry while he got ready.  
  
"Alright, let's go round everyone up and get them into the den." Ron spoke.  
  
Harry went first to Sirius' door, and knocked.  
  
"Siri, you guys ready in there? It's time to go." Harry said simply.  
  
"Yeah, we'll be out in a moment-we'll meet you in the den Har." Sirius' voice rang out.  
  
Next would be to go to Crabbe and Goyle's room. Hopefully they would be up and ready at this time. Harry walked down the hall to their door and knocked.  
  
"Hey, it's time to leave. Are you guys ready?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah," Crabbe responded as he opened the door, "We're ready. It's in the den, right?" he asked. Harry just nodded. The 3 men walked into the den and awaited the others in the house to join them. Pansy came out moments later, thankfully in a better state than last night. Ron was currently in Hermione and Ginny's room.  
  
"Hey Ron," Hermione started as she put her earrings on, "Why the hell was Pansy drunk last night? I mean seriously, of all nights to be drunk, she chooses this one."  
  
Ron sighed. "When she gets depressed-she drinks. It's a horrible habit, and she was horrified when I told her about last night. She can't help it, really. When her father died, her mother drank alcohol as if it were water. And the alcohol made her mother happy, so that's the idea she has in her head. Drinking equals happiness. Dreadful, isn't it?" he said, sadly.  
  
"Quite dreadful. You should try to break her of that habit, Ron. If anyone could it would definitely be you." Hermione said. "Alright, I'm ready now. Gin, come on love. It's time to floo."  
  
"Okay, let me just get my shoes on and I'll be ready." Ginny said quietly. She put on her heals that made her almost taller than Hermione, but not quite. She grabbed Hermione's hand, and the two of them walked out together-Ron trailing behind them. By the time they reached the den, everyone was gathered there. One by one they all flooed to the funeral home. It was decided that they were going to rent a room in the funeral home for the wake, as Harry was not comfortable with being in a church. The room already had the casket in it. The casket was black with a silver snake on it and wasn't opened yet. Harry had asked that it not be opened until after people spoke.  
  
The lot of them sat down in the front row. The first person to speak was Hermione. 


	4. Hermione's Eulogy

No, I did not make up any of the characters. The plot is completely mine :- ) Reviews are nice, but I don't demand them. I'd just like to know there are some people out there reading my story. Anywho, I am going to be updating more frequently now, which *I hope* is a good thing. Oh yes, thanks to my wondrous beta Liz, who rocks my socks and my world. Enough of my gibbering, on to the story.  
  
Hermione walked up to the podium. She mumbled the word 'Sonorus' under her breath, a voice magnifying spell.  
  
"I don't even know what to say about Draco that you all don't already know. He was....so many different things. I only recently became friends with him; I now wish that we were able to put aside everything much earlier. Draco turned out to be the best friend I ever had, and probably ever will have." she paused to take a deep breath, and then continued.  
  
"I remember the first night that I actually considered him something other than an enemy. I was crying an ocean because I finally admitted to myself that I was in love with Ginny Weasley, and that 'just wasn't right.' Draco found me sprawled on the floor of the Prefect's library. He didn't leave my side the whole night; he was right there for me although we were 'enemies'. I poured my heart and soul out to him that night, I literally told him everything. Not just about Ginny, but about...everything. About the constant pressure I was under in class, and some more personal things. Some things I told him I've never said to anyone since. I've never felt that sense of security with anyone. Anyone. I knew that night that all my preconceived notions about him were dead wrong." she stopped, choked up at what she was going to say next.  
  
"If it wasn't for Draco I wouldn't be who I am today. I wouldn't be happy. And I wouldn't be with Ginny." tears started to slowly fall down her face.  
  
"He was the one who gave me the courage to tell Ginny how I felt about her. He was the one who convinced me to come out to my friends. And most importantly, he was the one who helped me to see that just because I'm a lesbian doesn't make me an evil person. Trust me, that thought ran through my head many a time. If it wasn't for him, I honestly don't see how I could be happy with my life. I would be in constant fear that I would slip up about my sexuality, about who I truly loved. Worse, I could be in a relationship with someone I didn't actually love." the tears were now pouring out of her eyes. She couldn't bring herself to look at her partner, knowing full well that she wouldn't be able to finish her eulogy. Hermione wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and took a breath.  
  
"It took awhile for Draco to open up to me, I could tell that it was painful for him to think about his past, let alone talk about it. So I never pressured him. One night he owled me to come to our spot right away. I was worried so I grabbed my broom and flew out to him as fast as the air and my broom would carry me. I found him curled in a fetal position on the floor, crying. He told me so many things that I couldn't take them all in in one night. It took me awhile to really *see* Draco for who he was. Draco was a tainted soul, old before his time. He was made to grow up far before he was ready, and I really saw that. I noticed something about him for the first time that night, the way his eyes looked tired. Not sleep deprived tired, but tired from seeing the things he saw daily. Tired of life, exhausted by the people in it."  
  
"On the other hand, I saw who Draco wasn't. He wasn't the evil bastard we all thought he was for so many years. I saw into his heart, into his very being. I saw something that select few ever got to see, and I'm proud that I did. I'm proud that he let me see him. That night, in the tower, as we clung to each other, Draco told me he loved Harry. I was speechless. I had known that Harry had a crush on Draco for quite awhile, but I never suspected that Draco returned that feeling. But I was concerned, I knew that Harry liked Draco, but I didn't know if he loved him. I couldn't allow Draco's heart to be broken once more, so I just stood by for 3 months without telling Harry. Then one day Ron pulled me aside and told me that Harry was hopelessly in love with Draco. I urged Ron to get Harry to tell him, as I knew that Draco would never, ever tell Harry on his own. The rest is history. I never saw Draco as happy as was with Harry; something inside him just came alive. If I could take back those 3 months that I didn't say anything, I would. I would do anything in my power to give them more time together, I hope that Harry can forgive me." she was finishing up.  
  
"I would like to say that I truly loved Draco Malfoy. He was my best friend, and he will be deeply missed by everyone for as long as they shall live. His soul was a gentle one, and I will never forget him. I would like to finish with his favorite saying, 'you were stubborn, and fought against the storm, which proved stronger than you: but we bow and yield to every breeze, and thus the gale passed harmlessly over our head.'" Hermione finished and sat down next to Ginny.  
  
(Author's note: Draco's favorite saying was from "The Oak and the Reeds", by Aesop. Hermione's character is modeled after a good friend of mine; she knows who she is.) 


	5. Harry's Song

Author's Note: We have been here before, haven't we? And I still own nothing but the plot, which you already know. This chapter is beta-less, so any mistakes are my own. Anyway, on with the story.  
  
Everyone's heart skipped a beat; it was time for Harry's creation, his song. Ever so slowly, he arose from his seated position and walked to the center of the room. He sat down on the chair and scooted himself closer to the piano. His delicate fingers flew over the keys, a quick warm up. Then he stopped.  
  
"I wrote this song for Draco last night, it was the most personal thing I could do for his memory. A eulogy just didn't seem to work for me, besides there is too much to say about him. Instead, I decided on something that would hit people on a different level. A song. So Draco, wherever you are, this one goes out to you." Harry spoke suprisingly calm.  
  
And so it began, Harry's song. Harry closed his eyes and began to play, and after a few chords, began to sing.  
  
"You left me with goodbye and open arms,  
  
A cut so deep I don't deserve.  
  
You were always invincible in my eyes,  
  
the only thing against us now is time.  
  
Could it be any harder to say goodbye and without you ?  
  
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true ?  
  
If I only had one more day.  
  
I lie down and blind myself with laughter.  
  
A quick fix of hope is what I'm needing,  
  
And now I wish that I could turn back the hours.  
  
But I know I just don't have the power.  
  
Could it be any harder to say goodbye and without you?  
  
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true?  
  
If I only had one more day.  
  
I'd jump at the chance,  
  
We'd drink and we'd dance.  
  
And I'd listen close to your every word,  
  
As if its your last, I know its your last,  
  
Cause today, oh, you're gone.  
  
Could it be any harder to say goodbye and without you?  
  
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true?  
  
If I only had one more day.  
  
Like sand on my feet,  
  
The smell of sweet perfume,  
  
You stick to me forever, baby  
  
and I wish you didn't go,  
  
I wish you didn't go  
  
I wish you didn't go away.  
  
To touch you again,  
  
With life in your hands  
  
It couldn't be any harder.  
  
To everyone's suprise, Harry was only tearing at the end of his song; they were all expecting him to be in hysterics. Instead, he was in a serene state of calmness. He had found it in himself somewhere to almost be a peace with Draco's passing. He gently rose from the piano chair and walked over to the casket. He bent over to take the silver rose that was placed on the ground.  
  
"I will love you until my dying day. Goodbye love." Harry spoke softly, kissing Draco's forehead whilst placing the rose into Draco's hands.  
  
Harry returned to his seat while the others went to say their good- byes. After that, everyone returned to their seats. Harry rose once more and walked to the center.  
  
"I would like to thank all of you for coming. It really means a lot to me, and I know it would to Draco as well." Harry finished.  
  
Everyone got themselves together and flooed back to Sirius's.  
  
Author's Note- The song is not mine, it is The Calling's "Could it be any harder". Oh yes, and the line "I will love you until my dying day" came from Moulin Rouge. 


	6. Band of Silver

Author's Note: Yep, I'm back. If you really think I own these characters, please check previous chapters and read their disclaimers :-). This chapter is betaless so any and all mistakes are mine. Thanks. Oh yeah feedback- it's lovely.

"Uhm Herm, do you think that now is a good time?" Ron asked, clearly on edge. His one hand was in his pocket, fingering a small band of silver. It had been two hours since the wake ended and Harry was currently relaxing in his room.

"As good as ever Ron. Good luck and remember, be gentle with him, alright?" Hermione tiredly answered. "I'm going to read in mine and Gin's room, so when you've finished, that's where I'll be." Hermione calmly walked out of her friend's room and down the hall.

Ron mumbled to himself what he planned on saying a few times and briskly walked out of his room. Before he knocked on the door, he took a step back. 'Gentle Weasley, Gentle.' he though to himself. Finally gathering the courage, he knocked.

"It open." came Harry's monotonous voice. 

Ron opened the door and stepped inside his friend's room. Turning slightly, he closed the door behind him. 'Oh gods, please don't let me back down now.' 

"Uh, hi Harry" he squeaked.

"Hello Ron." was Harry's emotionless response.

"Um, Harry...I have something I need to tell you. I know I should have told you this earlier...but....I didn't. I...hope that you won't be too angry with me." He stuttered out.

"Ron, relax. I'm sure you had good reason that you didn't tell me, I'm not mad at you at all. Continue". Harry urged him on, there was emotion in his voice, he was interested in what his nervous friend had to say.

"Well...I...there's...no easy or right way to say this. So, I'm just going to...just going to...just tell you. Um.... Draco was going to propose to you right before he died. And Hermione was going to propose to Ginny and me to Pansy. We were...uh...going to have a triple wedding. And....I uh, have the...uh...the...the ring that he was going to give you...and I should give that to you now." Ron spoke quickly. He reached into his pocket, pulled out the silver ring. Harry opened his palm and allowed his friend to place the ring in it.

The ring itself was beautiful, gorgeous. It was silver, Draco and Harry's favorite color. It was a thin band. Harry spun it around with his fingers, eagerly inspecting it. Engraved on the inside were the words: Ich liebe Sie bis meinen sterbenden Tag. A small smile crossed his face as he ran his finger over the engraving.

"Um, Harry I was wondering….what does that mean?" Ron questioned.

"It means, 'I love you until my dying day'. Which is actually quite ironic. Those are almost the exact words I said to him at the wake. Great minds think alike. Oh yeah, it's in German, by the way. He always thought that language was beautiful." Harry was obviously happy reminiscing about Draco, so Ron made a signal to continue. "I happen to agree with him, the way it rolls off your tongue is like no other language. Just listen to this Ron, 'Sie sind mein bester Freund, und ich liebe dich.' Of course it doesn't translate exactly but it's close enough." Harry spoke contently. 

"Har, what does that mean?" Ron questioned gently, sitting down on his friend's bed. 

"It means, roughly of course, that 'You are my best friend and I love you.'. Beautiful language. It's a sad thing that Draco's father never really approved of his son using that language." Harry said sadly.

"Well, why not?" Ron curiously asked his friend, patting the bed for Harry to sit down next to him. 

"Well, he always thought that German was the language of the Nazis and, believe it or not, he absolutely loathed the Nazis. He believed that German could only be the language of the Nazis and nothing else. He completely forgot that a nation used the language before and after that time period. Sad, really." Harry said as he sat down next to his friend. 

Ron was absolutely shocked. Harry took this the exact opposite of the way he expected. He had foreseen that Harry would either flip out and scream at him or start to hysterically cry. He never imagined this outcome. It was odd, really. No one expected Harry to be able to calmly remember his love without crying or shutting down. Harry really was much stronger than he was credited for.

"Ron, I want to thank you for telling me about the ring. And I want to thank you for asking me about Draco; no one else has done that. I mean sure, they say they're sorry for my loss, but they never think to ask me about him. Him before his dying. And it really surprised me when you did, I kinda just figured that you were like everyone else and I'm sorry for that. I really am. I meant what I said before, you are my best friend and I love you." Harry embraced Ron.

"You're welcome Har, I love you too." He whispered back.


	7. Harry's Theory

Author's Note: I'm back! And guess what?! This chapter has actually been beta-ed. Oh yes, I'm acting as if OOtP didn't happen, if you couldn't tell. This story is going to be ending rather soon so I decided to finally explain how darling Draco died. So, without further ado, my story!  
  
A weird thought crossed Ronald Weasley's mind as he tenderly broke away from the embrace. He wasn't quite sure if Harry would take to it, so before he asked anything Ron decided to test the water.  
  
"Har.I'm going to ask you something. If you don't want to talk about it, don't in any way feel pressured. Okay? Not it any way." he stressed, not wanting to force Harry into anything.  
  
Harry nodded, a look of understanding playing on his face. He knew what Ron was going to ask, and truthfully, he was glad that he was finally going to discuss it with someone other than the back of his mind. True, he had spoken about it to the others, but they were all too afraid of causing him more pain so they avoided having him remember precisely what happened. This was going to be a refreshing experience for Harry, as he desperately needed to talk about the incident.  
  
"Har...how did he die?" Ron asked gently, slightly fearful that asking about Draco's death was taking a step too far. Of course, he couldn't have been more wrong.  
  
"I knew it'd be you." Harry thought aloud, sitting down on his bed. Motioning Ron to sit down, he noticed the thoroughly confused look on his friend's face. He lightly chuckled under his breath as he smiled at Ron.  
  
"It's nothing to fret about, mate. I was just musing over the fact that the only person that ever asked me about him is you. You know the whole deal with everyone thinking I'm too delicate to talk about it, to remember it," he spoke, annoyance clear in his voice, "I'm not the fragile flower they all think I am. I know they have my best interest at heart, but it's slightly abrading that they think I don't want, don't need to talk about his death. To talk about him." He confided, moving about in order to get comfortable.  
  
"I mean, the day after it happened Hermione found me crying in my room. I guess that put the wrong image in her head. Really, it was the day after he had died, if I wasn't upset I'd be worried. It's not that I've gotten over him, it's just that I'm not going to break down every time I talk about him. I actually love to talk about him; I loved him why wouldn't I want to?" Harry asked aloud, more to himself than to Ron.  
  
"I have no idea mate, but maybe you should tell them that sometime." Ron suggested, following Harry's suite of getting comfortable.  
  
"It's alright, talking about it to one person will be fine for me. I can tell. Anyway, get comfortable." Harry decided it would be best if he stood, "You stay seated, it's easier for me to talk like this." Ron obliged and looked at Harry, interested.  
  
"Well, first of all I need to give you a brief background of what Draco and I had been doing prior to the fight." snorting at the scared look on Ron's face, Harry continued, "No mate, not those kind of things." Ron visibly relaxed.  
  
"I had a theory that after months of considering and hypothesizing, told Draco. I believed that every curse had a counter-curse, whether or not we are aware of the counter-curse is another matter entirely. The counter- curse needed only be thought up in order to be used. I proposed that, with the right amount of knowledge, counters to the Unforgivable Curses could be found, well made if you want to get technical. There was a catch though; the user of the counter-curse had to desperately need it in order for it to work properly. Only someone whose intentions were pure would be able to sucessfully perform the counter-curse. For example, you couldn't perform the counter-curse to Cruciatus if you were going to torture the person yourself." Harry paused, taking a breath.  
  
"This is where it gets complicated. If it turns out your intentions weren't pure, then the curse you were doing a counter for would be inflicted upon yourself. That's what made the counters deadly, if you weren't aware of your own intentions you could end up killed.  
  
After Draco's initial rejection of the idea, it grew on him. So, we read everything on counter-curses we could get out hands on. We learned an awful lot in about a week's time, and we finally decided it was time to practice. It was obvious that we weren't ready to test the Unforgivables, so we started with something simple. We started with the 'Adorior' spell. I cast it upon myself, which obviously, caused me to rise in the air. Draco, in turn, thought up the Latin word for "come down", and cast 'Concido' which immediately brought me back down to the ground. It had worked." Harry paused, smiling. He was obviously proud of his work. He began pacing across the room and continued speaking.  
  
"Gradually we started using harder and harder spells. Than came the day when we both agreed it was time to try one of the Unforgivables. We decided on Cruciatus, and that it was going to be cast on me. I cast the spell and within a heartbeat Draco cast 'Exonero'." Harry stopped and glanced at the attentive Ron. He went over to his desk and guzzled some water.  
  
"C'mon mate, don't stop there!" Ron eagerly cried out. Harry smirked and started up again.  
  
"Well, obviously the counter-curse worked. We were ecstatic, I mean we had just discovered the counter-curse to one of the most deadly and painful curses out there. Unfortunately, our happiness was short lived. Unknowingly, Draco and I had touched a portkey left by a Death Eater transporting us to none other than Voldemort's current lurking place.  
  
You know that Voldemort has never tip toed around a fight, so the instant we arrived an Unforgivable was cast." Harry had an angry look on his face, but he went on, "He, of course, cast 'Avada Kedavra'. Now me being the idiot that I am jumped in front of the curse, taking it head on to save Draco." He had to stop to unclench his fists.  
  
"Wait, what do you mean? Why was that stupid?" Ron asked, baffled by what Harry had just spoken.  
  
"Hold on Ron, you're jumping ahead. I'm getting there. I never considered the side effects of doing a counter-curse on something as large as an Unforgivable. And unfortunately, Draco never told me if there was any when he cast the counter to Cruciatus. In an instant, Draco cast the counter to Avada, which happened to be 'Animo'. I was brought back to life, but the effects of the counter were immediately apparent.  
  
Never, for one moment, had I thought that it would be a life for a life. I...I...didn't know...didn't think it worked like that. Trust me, if I did I would have allowed Draco to be hit by the curse and then revive him myself just so I could be the one that died.  
  
All this completely confused Voldemort, so I simply cast Avada on him. And it was over. Everything." Harry, finally done with his story, sat next to Ron. A single tear rolled down his face.  
  
"Ron, I could have saved him." Harry spoke as softly as the wind rustling in the trees.  
  
"Rubbish! That is absolutely rubbish! You had no idea what would happen, none at all. There's not doubt in my mind that if you did you would have saved him." Ron gave him a quick little hug, and wiped the tear away, "Mate, if you don't mind me saying this, you are bloody brilliant!" Ron said with admiration. Harry slightly smiled and gave Ron a hug back.  
  
"Thanks mate, for everything. Thanks for listening, and thanks for letting me talk." Harry said.  
  
"Oh gods Harry, anytime. You look exhausted, you're going right to bed!" Ron stated forcefully. He seized Harry's shoes and began pulling then off. Harry chuckled and allowed himself to be taken care of. When Ron was done fussing over him, Harry got under the covers and wiggled around. This caused his friend to laugh and say, "You're adorable, mate. Now you go to sleep, it's late. I'll talk to you tomorrow morning. Don't think you're going to avoid telling me much more about your theory! G'night." Ron spoke, turning out the light.  
  
"G'night Ron." Harry replied. For the first time in awhile, Harry peacefully drifted off to sleep.  
  
Author's Note: I hope you all liked it. Please review, I read all of them and appreciated every single one. The spells and counter-spells were all made up by me, as was the counter to Avada. If by chance, I used a counter that was created by someone else, I'm deeply sorry and was totally unaware of it. If you correct me, I shall give you credit. Thanks for reading! 


	8. Sirius' Chat

Author's Note: Recognize it, it's not mine. Thanks to my beta Liz. Please Read and Review, thanks and enjoy.  
  
Harry quietly sighed as he heard someone loudly rap upon his door. Quickly rolling over and swinging his legs off the bed, he stumbled over to the door and opened it.  
  
"Mon fils? I'm sorry if I woke you, but it's time for you to be getting ready anyway. And I kinda wanted to talk to you about something, mate." Sirius said almost apologetically, as Harry tiredly rubbed his eyes.  
  
" 's 'right Siri, c'mon in." Harry mumbled to his godfather, stepping back to allow him entrance. Noticing that he was standing before his godfather in only his boxers, Harry hastily began rummaging through his closet looking for the clothes he was going to wear to the funeral. Sirius was looking rather dashing this morning, if Harry did think so himself. He was currently donning a gray robe that was unclasped revealing his long sleeved black dress shirt and black trousers with red trim around the bottom. It looked as though Remus had done his hair this morning as it was beautifully styled and shiny. Remus liked shiny things.  
  
"I see Remus had his way with your hair this morning, Siri." Harry chuckled, walking over to his bed and placing his clothes down on it. Sirius just snorted, not admitting to anything. Sirius loved Remus and if allowing him to do Sirius' hair would make his lover happy, he'd do it without hesitation.  
  
Pulling an undershirt over his head, Harry spoke, "What is it you wanted to talk to me about then?" He then proceeded to slip into his loose black trousers and black form-fitted shirt. Walking over to his dresser, he ran a brush through his always-unruly hair and sprayed a little cologne on his wrists, swiftly rubbing them together. Spying the ring, Harry casually slipped it onto the ring finger on his left hand. If Sirius noticed his godson doing this, he didn't let on.  
  
"Well, I wanted to tell you that I think it's really, erhm, brave for a lack of a better word, that you're going to Draco's funeral." Sirius stuttered. A look of confusion played on Harry's face as he raised an eyebrow. "Well, I didn't go to your parents," his head dropped, ashamed, "I couldn't bring myself to do it and that is the one thing I regret most deeply in my life. I missed my last chance to say goodbye to them. To tell them that I loved them." He paused, his eyes filling with tears unshed over the years, "So, I wanted to tell you that I respect you even more now, I love you Har." He finished feebly, unsure of how Harry would react.  
  
Harry responded by walking over to his godfather and wrapping him in a tight embrace. Noticing his godfather's tear filled eyes, he spoke quietly, "Sirius, you didn't need to tell them you loved them, they already knew. They still know." Harry sat down next to him. "You'll see them again, Padfoot, just like I'll see Draco again. You have to believe. And I love you too." Harry rested his head on his godfather's shoulder.  
  
"You are so much stronger than I am, Har, I don't know how you do it. If I ever lost Remus."Sirius left the rest of the thought unspoken, knowing he wouldn't be able to control his tears if he finished it.  
  
"I hope you don't think I was always this strong." Harry smiled sadly and lifted his head so he could look at Sirius, "In the very beginning.there was nothing more that I would have liked than to kill myself." Sirius flinched at the mention of this, but nodded for Harry to continue, "But I knew that I couldn't. I didn't deserve to be with him, not after the fact that it was my fault he died, if I hadn't convinced him." Harry realized mid-sentence what he was confessing and froze, petrified.  
  
"What?!" Sirius asked, quite alarmed.  
  
"N-nothing. I just m-meant that if I hadn't of fallen in love with Draco that he wouldn't have been k-killed." Harry sputtered unconvincingly. He tried to get up and off the bed, but Sirius gently pulled him back down. There was an odd look in his eyes, a look that Harry had never seen before.  
  
"Harry, please tell me what happened." Sirius asked, his voice painfully soft. Wincing at Sirius' tone, Harry rehashed the story he told Ron the previous night.  
  
"I thought we trusted each other Harry. I thought you knew you could come to me anytime, about anything, and if you were ever in trouble I'd do whatever it took to help you. What did I do that made you distrust me? God, James would be so ashamed of me right now."Sirius hung his head and began to silently weep.  
  
At the precise moment, Remus burst into Harry's room. Seeing his husband in so much anguish, Remus ran over to him. He quickly sat on the bed and pulled Sirius into a loving embrace. Holding him closely, he began to rock him back and forth in an attempt to calm him down. When Sirius cried he really let it all out, but this was different, these were silent tears. Remus had only seen him cry like that one other time in his life, after Lily and James' death. He had to be in immense pain for him to cry like this, and Remus needed to know exactly what was making his love hurt.  
  
"Would someone care to tell me what precisely is going on here?" Remus gently asked. Sirius detached himself from his lover's arms, stood, and walked to the door.  
  
"Why don't you ask Harry. I'm sure he'll tell you, he trusts you a lot more than he trusts me." Sirius said sadly before walking out of the room, closing the door softly behind himself. 


End file.
